Last Friday was anything but normal for most. . . and maybe even a little more exciting for me:
My “To Do” List consisted of:

1. Visiting CVS’s to see if they were locking up their condoms
2. Picking up 1000 condoms for the MWPHA Opening Social at the Department of Health

First I headed to the CVS on Road Island Avenue, and then headed to the health department. I then ventured to the next CVS on my list across the street from the Navy Yard metro stop. Before I enter a CVS that I will be “investigating” I stand outside get a feel for the neighborhood, write down the store hours etc. There were some “youth of today” or the Hip Hop Generation (as I call the young people- teens) hanging out/chilling in front of the CVS and one of the young men as I would soon learn his name to be “R,” I noticed was “sizing me up” or determining my personality. What could he expect from a twenty something, conservatively dressed, white woman in an area that clearly he owns I am sure what would transpire throughout our 45 minute conversation neither he nor I could have guessed.
It all started with a smoke, R was smoking a Newport.
I said “How old are you young men?”
One of the kids replied “Your age.” (It makes me smile just thinking of the response- bless his heart) They eventually told me they were 16.
I quickly provided him with the Black and Mild pamphlet and described to him that tobacco has the same effect no matter how you smoke it. I gave him and all his buddies the run down of the marketing tactics of the Tobacco companies.
Seeing that I had just been to the Department of Health I literally loaded up their pockets with condoms- it is a very serious issue, but looking back I must have looked hilarious.

R’s friends “peaced out” and we got to talking. I asked him what grade he was in? He told me that he was in the 9th grade but should be in the 11th, that he had been held back twice.
For anyone that thinks that I am not capable of holding back emotions I am saddened to say that I can. At this point I knew that I had I to keep a somewhat consistent facial expressions without balling. This is very very hard for me.
We continued to talk and it ends up through my blunt and pointed questions in about 4 minutes I got a fairly clear picture of his “situation”
Hard working mother with two jobs
Deceased father
younger siblings
older brother “locked up” (in his words)
criminal record
Before I begin this story, I again want to remind you of my disclaimer on my blog.
The first thing I asked R was “Why don’t you like to be in school?”
R: “I don’t like being told what to do.”
Jana: “If you weren’t in school what would you like to be doing?”
R: “Playing ball”
J: “Would you maybe be interested in managing a basketball team?”
R: “YA! I would be interested!”
J: “You know you can even get a degree in college to manage a basketball team, and get paid good money!”
R: “Really? I didn’t even know dat.”
J: “Ok. You have two choices, go to school, or become a statistic and go to prison, because that is route you are heading.”
Many of my readers may be thinking those are pretty harsh words, but sadly many times they are not only true, but many in the community just accept the fact.
I asked R if he was able to talk to his brother and R said “I write to him but he never writes back.” It was at that point that I nearly lost it.
I said “I am sure he misses you, he is dealing with his own problems, keep writing him.” I asked him “Do you want to end up like your brother??” It sounds so cliche, but the way I say it, is not.
I asked him do you not like going to school because you feel behind the rest of the class?
I told him how I felt stupid (I know that is not out of Counseling 101) because I would not pick math concepts as fast as my friends. I said I had to spend a lot more time with my teacher and it was hard and I hated it, but I did it. He said he didn’t “get it” and it made him angry so he gives up.
I asked him “What do you like in school?”
R: “I like history!”
J: “Great, you couldn’t live in a better place.”
J: ” R, I want you to know that I will make time to help YOU personally. My mother made just a little bit too much money, and I am white which left me out of a lot of scholarships. R, you are black, poor, and if you can get your a%& back in school and do well and graduate, you will have so many opportunities and I will help you, and there are other people- at least 700 that I know that I go to school with that I know care about you- R.” I gave R my information and he promised to contact me, I hope he does. R has a great chance- he attends Woodrow Wilson High School, which is one of, if not the top high school in DC- very diverse for DC standards.

As long as I live I will NEVER forget the look on his face, it was as if no one had ever told him that he could aspire to be more, to do more, that he IS more than some black kid chillin’ on the street. Often I watch people watch the youth of today and sometimes I just want to yell and say “Encourage instead of discourage!!!!”
Maybe they will meet someone like R who maybe needed someone to say “there is more. . . . “

As I was about to leave- I noticed R still had a lighter in his hand, and I said “How about you let me have that lighter, you will be less tempted to smoke.” I assumed he would say “Nah.” But he made my heart melt as he placed it my hand and said “of course.”
I did speak with R and his buddy before posting picture and story.